Hỡi thế gian tình ái là chi ? Mà đôi lứa hẹn thề sống chết ^^!
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Tối nay, 7/3. Bên hàng xóm, tiếng đập phá lại bất ngờ vọng sang. Tiếp đó là tiếng đạp, tiếng xô cửa ầm ầm, kèm theo tiếng chửi đàn ông tục tằn và tiếng khóc tức tưởi của một cô gái trẻ. Rồi tiếng cửa sắt chói tai, và cô gái bị đạp ra ngoài cửa, gục xuống rũ rượi. Cánh cửa đóng sập trước mặt em, tiếng lách tách khóa cửa.
Bạn Tôi Ơi, Cảm Ơn Bạn - Phạm Khánh Hưng
Tình Bạn - AXN
Bạn thân - Minh Thuận ft Phạm Thanh Thảo
Ông Việt Nam đụng phải ông người Tây, ông VN : - I’m sorry ! Ông tây cũng lịch sự : - I’m sorry too .
Ông VN nghe xong vội vàng : - I’m sorry three .
Ông Tây nghe thấy lạ quá hỏi : - What are you sorry for ?
Ông VN làm luôn : - I’m sorry five.
Ông người tây bực mình : - Oh shit !!!
Ông VN hết hồn : - Oh seven !!!
Sư và một ni cô đi đánh gôn. Cú đánh đầu tiên hụt, Sư kêu lên:"Trời ơi, hụt!!!". Ni cô liền nói:"Thí chủ đừng kêu trời như vậy, sẽ bị thiên lôi đánh đấy". Đến phát thứ hai hụt, Sư lại kêu lên:"Trời ơi, hụt!!!". Ni cô bèn can:"Thí chủ đừng kêu nữa, kêu lần nữa sẽ bị sét đánh đấy a.". Phát thứ ba hụt, Sư kêu lên:"Trời ơi, hụt!!!". Đột nhiên có tiếng nổ rất to, mọi người quay lại thì thấy ni cô bị sét đánh đen thui.Bỗng từ trên trời có tiếng nói rất to vọng xuống: "TRỜI ƠI , HỤT !!!"
Đã có những khi em đã sai.
Nước mắt của em đang nhẹ rơi.
Thấm ướt hết vai anh tại sao.
Có lẽ bởi anh đã làm em không vui.
FRIEND FOR DINNER
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don t feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool s thinking about getting married."
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don t feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool s thinking about getting married."
DON'T MESS WITH THE MAID
A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid.After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.
The maid, with her Gaelic ancestry, couldn t allow such abuse to go unanswered. "Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."
The rich woman just swallowed and said nothing. "And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am better in bed than you!"
"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"
A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid.After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.
The maid, with her Gaelic ancestry, couldn t allow such abuse to go unanswered. "Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."
The rich woman just swallowed and said nothing. "And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am better in bed than you!"
"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"
I JUST HAD A DREAM ABOUT IT ...
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine s day. What do you think it means?"
"You ll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine s day. What do you think it means?"
"You ll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".
I HAVE TO SHOW HER ...
Everybody s heard of the Air Force s ultra-high-security,super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
Everybody s heard of the Air Force s ultra-high-security,super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
AFTER THE HONEY MOON
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!" No sooner had she spoken the words then she burst out crying. "But mamma . . . as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He s been saying things I ve never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You ve got to come get me and take me home... "
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!" No sooner had she spoken the words then she burst out crying. "But mamma . . . as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He s been saying things I ve never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You ve got to come get me and take me home... "
DEATHBED CONFESSION
Jake was on his deathbed. His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, and tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Susan," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Don t talk."
He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you."
"There s nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything s all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend, and your mother."
"I know," she replied. "That s why I poisoned you."
Jake was on his deathbed. His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, and tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Susan," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Don t talk."
He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you."
"There s nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything s all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend, and your mother."
"I know," she replied. "That s why I poisoned you."
